FOR WISE WOMEN ONLY

By Helen Jesze, 24th July 2015

“Every wise woman builds her house: but the foolish plucks it down with her hands,”

Proverbs 14, 1 KJV

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands,”

Proverbs 14, 1 New Living Translation

Do not always compare yourself with other women

Some of us have many insecurities, especially when we are young, and we compare our face, figure, talents and education with those of other women. This can lead to dissatisfaction and jealousy, and poison our life and our marriage. God has invested much in your life and given you giftings which others may not have. These may show themselves later on. Even if you have not had a good role model to learn from, God can bring excellent older women your way so that you can learn from them.

A teachable spirit

Every Christian – not just wives and mothers – needs to develop a teachable, humble spirit and attitude. This does not mean you must become a ‘door-mat’ on which everybody wipes his dirty feet. Do not snub every effort to help you but discern if the person offering the advice is living a consistent Christian life. At least look at their suggestions and pray about them. God will lead you and you may find that this is the answer to your prayer, the very advice you are needing.

Make the most of what you have

During all our married life, my husband and I have been in ministry. This has meant many financial struggles but also many wonderful gifts from God showered upon us. Once we moved to a house and half the rooms were empty for we had no money to buy furniture. I laid hands on the windows and floors and thanked God for the curtains which would hang there and the furniture which would stand in the rooms.

Several months later, a lady died and we were able to take everything we needed, free of charge. God expects us to make a “home” out of a house or apartment, and with His help, ingenuity and creativity, we can do this. The Americans have a wonderful word for this – a “homemaker”! Far nicer than the English expression – “a housewife”, I always think!

When preaching or playing the piano at conferences and being on the platform, I needed some long dresses, but they were very expensive at that time. A lady gave me £5 to spend on clothes for myself. In a shop the Holy Spirit drew me to a long black, patterned with various colours cocktail dress and showed me how to alter this, to make it suitable and beautiful. I was also given several beautiful long dresses and skirts.

Most of our clothes were secondhand at that time, and when people gave us things they sometimes needed altering. Although I used to hate sewing, the Holy Spirit would show me how to alter garments so that they looked very nice. Some people even said to me I was spending too much money on clothes, thinking I was always buying something new!

God is a God of abundance and while we are believing for abundance and working towards that, learn to make the most of what you have already. If your heart is full of envy and you are lazy in not looking after what you have, why should God give you more?!

Change and God’s Call

As years go by, people often change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. New traits and desires will be shown. You may find that the man you married 10 years ago is not completely the man you have today. It is normal to develop in Life and we all need to grow.

I knew a man who had a building business and pastored a church, but his real anointing was for evangelism. When he spoke with his wife about this, she said his place was with her and the children, and he was not to think of travelling and being an evangelist.

The husband listened to his wife and things began to go badly wrong. Although still a young man, he almost died from a heart-attack, fell into mental illness and delusion, the wife died from cancer and he grew into an old, embittered man who could not forgive people or Life, isolating himself for many years from family and friends. This, and other examples I had seen warned me not to stand in the way of any calling God may bring into my husband’s life.

Perhaps you married a businessman and now he says, God has called him to pastor a church. Many things would have to change and you may not be willing. I would encourage you to seek the Lord and let Him show you too, if this is the way for you both, for you, too, will play an important role, to a greater or lesser degree in your new sphere of service. God will change your heart if you are willing.

Forgiveness and Restoration

When we became a Christian we received the gift of God’s forgiveness. Learn to now pass on this gift to others who have wounded or damaged you. God will fight your battles as you trust Him, but you must be free of bitterness. Pull out this root as soon as it takes root in your heart, otherwise Satan will gain an advantage, stealing your victory and joy. It does not mean that you agree with the wrong done. Emotionally you may not be able to forgive, but it is a matter of your will that, with the help of Jesus, you will not always go over and over in your mind what happened, but CHOOSE to forget. If your husband has committed adultery, this is not straight away a cause for divorce. God can wonderfully restore marriages!

These wonderful bodies!

Hebrews 13, 4 tells that God intends the gift of sexuality to be part of love, and to be used within the framework and security of marriage. Satan has perverted this gift; broken lives, sexual disease, AIDS and unwanted pregnancies are the result. Christian couples should find joy in the sexual side of their marriage although it often takes time, love and patience to achieve this.

Keep yourself attractive for your husband but be careful that the way you dress glorifies God. Cleavage which is too low, or a slit up the side of your skirt going up to the thigh while playing the piano on the platform (we saw this in a church) is only tempting the men in the congregation. While we might not commit physical adultery, it is possible to cause someone else to commit “mental” or “spiritual” adultery with us. The dignity and honour of the Lord should so clothe us, that every man, even if he found us attractive, must treat us with respect.

Remember that your body undergoes hormonal changes every month during menustration, and during and after pregnancy. Don’t fall into the depths of despair or be full of fear at strange emotional swings and feelings. Give yourself time. Things will right themselves again. Learn how your body works. God has made us in a marvellous way and can heal us spirit, soul and body!

“Mother” not “smother”

Are you mothering or are you smothering your children? Children need love, discipline and guidance but also need the possibility to develop and to be made ready for the adult world. Perhaps your son is already married, yet you still see him as your little boy and are constantly interfering in the marriage. Genesis 2, 24 tells us: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife…” Your son has entered into the closest relationship there is – a picture of Christ and His Church. Learn to release him and if you see things which to you are not right, pray about them.

LET GO AND LET GOD WORK!

George says, mother-in-laws should only give advice if they are asked for it! If you do give advice, pray for the right time and manner in which to do this, or you may destroy relationships and cause problems. Of course, this is the same for anyone who wants to give advice, not just mother-in-laws!

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, fill me anew with your Agape love for those you have entrusted to my care, for my earthly love is often bankrupt.

Strengthen and uphold me, give me your wisdom to help them and to be what you want me to be. Fill our hearts with joy and our home with your peace!
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.