The Power of Forgiveness

By Rhonda Wilson-Dikoko, 10^th July 2020

David stood in the backyard gazing up at John David’s tree he had planted only a few years back. David had planted an oak tree for every member of his family. He allowed his thoughts to take him back to the day he purchased the trees, bought fish fertilizer and watched his children water their tender shoots. John David, the eldest of the two, used to fight with his sister Suzanne over whose tree was the tallest. Today his tree stood almost the same height as the other three. But John David would never see his tree grow up, he would never graduate from High School or go to college. His tender young life had been snatched away in a freak gun accident.

David sobbed softly to himself as the guests mingled in his home talking quietly amongst themselves in hope of bringing comfort to his family by their presence. But David wanted none of it. He preferred standing in the back yard in the rain to being cramped up in the house with people who understood nothing of his family’s pain and turmoil brought on by their loss. For the first time in his life, David felt utterly helpless and alone, unable to do anything to remedy the situation. He felt doomed to a life of despair and hopelessness, intense anger taking hold of his entire being. The death of his son did not make any sense. How could a loving God be so cruel? He preferred to be outside alone in the cold winter temperature rather than enjoy the warmth of the hearth and the company inside the house.

David looked intensely at his deceased child’s tree, startled to find a dove peering back at him! Normally doves would take flight at the mildest of noise but not this dove. He sat perched in John David’s tree staring straight at him! David took a step towards the tree, but the dove didn’t even flinch. David kept vigil each day watching the tree till one day he discovered there was a nest with 2 eggs! Somehow this sign brought great comfort to him as he believed in his heart John David was with the Lord. He also felt the two eggs meant God would bless him with two more children, and He did! David and his wife Jody had two more sons!

One of those sons, Brian, grew up to become a lawyer. He had grown up hearing about his brother’s death and wanted to do research on the boy who had shot him. He knew a monument had been erected at John David’s school in memory of his life but what of the young man who had taken his brother’s life? What Brian discovered was not surprising. The young man had had a turbulent childhood drifting in and out of trouble. He later married and had children but seemed to barely be surviving in life. Brian felt for this young man and told his father he believed strongly in the power of forgiveness. He told his Dad he should visit the shooter and release him from the debt of murder that must surely be weighing him down.

A year had gone by, yet David had taken no step towards restitution of the killer’s own life. Thirty years had gone by since his son’s death and David and his family had lived successful lives. He felt like he had forgiven the young man who terminated his son’s life but had not properly released him. Now he was ready to do so. He gathered his family, brought his daughter from Seattle and they went to visit the young man.

Forgiveness can lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life, in addition to releasing the guilty person(s). Holding on to unforgiveness is a blessing blocker in your life. Look at what Jesus says in Matthew

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Matthew 18:18-22

In Verse 19 Jesus tells us how to get our prayers answered. In the next breath he reiterates the exact same thing letting us know that we should extend unlimited grace to those who wrong us because we ourselves have been recipients of the grace of God.

In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go,” as when a person does not demand payment for a debt.

Jesus used this comparison when he taught his followers to pray:

“Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is in debt to us,”

Luke 11:4

Pray: Lord Forgive me of my sins and I also forgive and release _____ for doing wrong to me. Today, I choose to forgive and to let go, in Jesus’ Mighty Name, Amen.

David and his family’s story was shared with his express permission in the hope of helping others get through their pain.