by George and Helen Jesze 21st August 20126

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will
strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 NIV

Worry does not only affect adults. Children too, can have worries. In childhood
some fears seem enormous, while years later, when adults, we laugh at our
foolishness.

When George was about eight years old and lying in bed one night, he wondered
what would happen if the Russians shot God. His little mind grappled with this
problem for quite a while. He was getting worried that God would not be able to
defend Himself. He could not imagine what chaos would take place if ever such a
tragedy happened.

Pictures of the war in Poland with its suffering and death all around them filled his
mind. Charred bodies hanging from the beams of the house next door where a bomb
had exploded, haunted his dreams. His father was away as a soldier; his mother and
he escaped to the country, but they still did not dare to disclose their German
ancestry. Fear and worry threatened to suffocate him at times and it seemed the war
would never end. What if this war engulfed not only the earth but the heavens, too.
Again, he was tormented with the thought: What if God Himself should be shot!
Well, fortunately this worry of his never materialised and the war did finally end.
Through a series of miracles (you can read about this in our book God’s Interpreter)
God brought him and his mother to England where they were able to be reunited with
his father.

But his worries did not leave him. He could not speak a word of English. What
would the children be like in school? Did they hate the Germans for starting the war?
In Poland there had been little chance to learn anything and now he was thrown into a
class of ten year olds who laughed at his different clothes and homespun stockings,
and his attempt to learn the language.

George was shy, sensitive and introspective and through his teenage years as a
young man, suffered from an inferiority complex. When he was 14 years old he saw
a film by Oral Roberts, ‘Venture into Faith’, and God called him into full-time
ministry. He was sure God had made a mistake! How could he stand in front of
people and preach? The very thought made him cringe and want to run away and
hide. ‘Why choose me, Lord? Why me?’

When he left school he went to work in a coal mine and had a dream of becoming a
mining-manager, earning a lot of money and doing little for it. But God’s call which
he had pushed to the back of his mind became insistent. It would not be refused and
became stronger than his ambition and fears of the ministry.

In 1960 he set off for the Kenley Bible College to train for two years. It was not
easy studying, washing their own clothes by hand and living together with a bunch of
students of different races and personalities. Of course, this was just what he needed
to rub the corners off, but he did not always appreciate it at the time.

Every Friday evening there was a service and each week two different students had
to preach. He dreaded the time when his name would come up on the board. The
principal and some of the teachers would be there to ‘judge’ their sermon and give
their verdict afterwards.At last the day of his martyrdom arrived. He had prepared a
sermon about Gideon and spent about seven hours in the nearby Anglican church
praying for God to help him. When he got up to preach and saw all the faces staring
expectantly, it seemed as though his mind went blank.

Fear gripped him and instead of preaching the required 30 to 45 minutes, he
finished Gideon and went through like an express train from Genesis to Revelation in
ten minutes flat! There was a stunned silence as he went back to his seat and the
principal had to fill the gap in the programme by giving his testimony.
After the service he trudged up the stairs to the principal’s room and knocked
nervously on his door.

‘Come in! Ah, it’s you, George. What have you come to see me about?’
‘Well. Well, I . .. have come to see you about my sermon tonight.’ He was
wondering what he would say about his maiden speech at the college.
‘Well, it wasn’t bad. But it was … hmm . . . rather short!’

The principal was tired after a busy day and George was glad to leave him to his
rest, in case he would say other things about his preaching. He left the room and
walked mechanically down the stairs. It was a great relief to him that this fateful day
had at last come to an end. He walked outside just to be alone and to get some fresh
air. He was very discouraged and cried out in an agony of frustration: ‘0 Lord, why
did you call me into the ministry? Lord I am not as talented as others, I cannot speak
as long as many.’

A while later one of the college teachers, Elisha Thompson, when he was also the
secretary, said some words to the students, which were specially comforting to
George: ‘I have seen many students come and go. Some were very talented.
Preparation of sermons came easily, they could preach long sermons, they were
gifted. Alas today, some of them are no longer in the ministry. It came easy and went
easy. But if you have to sweat, to pray, to weep, to rely more on the Lord, you will
eventually make it.’

George knew he belonged to the latter group. A new ray of hope arose within him:
‘Yes, I will make it. I will seek the Lord, even if I have to weep with frustration now. I
will stay in the Ministry.’

Let me encourage you, whatever you are doing for the Lord. Do not envy those
‘great preachers’, those spiritual giants, because they have a greater responsibility.
God has given them more talents, so he expects more from them. Be content with
whatever talents you have. Use what you have. Invest it for the Lord. At the end of
our life God will judge us on what he has entrusted to us. George says he can look
over these years of serving the Lord and truly say that God is not a disappointment.
George has seen God deliver him from the giant of fear and inferioritycomplex,
and he can do the same for you. Are you feeling inadequate to fulfil the
task which God has called you to do? Are you struggling with the burden of past
failure and worrying how you can ever make it in your service for God? Even in
our seeming defeats we can gain courage that our Heavenly Father is the God of
a new start who never gives up on us.

Losing the battle does not mean we have lost the war.
You may lose a round but still win the championship!
Sometimes it is our past which catches up on us. Old memories, unpleasant
memories, ones we would like to leave locked away, buried, gone for ever, suddenly
pop up when we least expect them.

Fear grips us and the suffocating feeling of not being able to escape threatens to
overwhelm us – acute worry. We often try to work out how to avoid the consequences
of our wrongdoing. We scheme and plot and cover up, but this is not the answer.
Our answer lies in a fresh meeting with God, this encounter with a divine mind and
a Being who is greater than our intellectual ability could comprehend. He saw his
helplessness and threw himself on God’s mercy and help.

How often God has to get us alone, just him and us, nobody else; nobody else to
turn to for help or to ask for advice. Only God and me personally. It is here that He
melts and moulds us, breaks us if necessary, and makes a beautiful vessel out of the
cracked, hard clay in His hand — a vessel and life according to His plan.

Our answer also lies in acknowledging and believing that God is already working in
us. God sees us not just as we are, but as he is going to make us. He sees potential in
every man or woman. He knows the struggles we experience and as we look to Him
He will bring us through victorious.

Shyness and fear can be replaced with courage; being too much concerned about our
own feelings can be changed into a loving sensitivity to the needs of others through
the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Deceit and sin can be washed away; our
name can be changed. George no longer says, ‘Why me, Lord?’ He just praises Him
that it is so, and revels in the truth of Philippians 1:6: ‘Being confident of this very
thing, that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it (or complete
it) until the day of Jesus Christ. . .’ AMP.

(Taken from their book Winning over Worry by George and Helen Jesze)
Us a few years later! God is good!